An omnibus (or should I say omniPUNS?) of some of the best classroom jokes

Written and compiled by: Kasvi Methi and Sai Teja (10A)

Why do we have to knock on Malala Yousufzai’s door?

Because “Nobel.”

What does a furry, four-legged farm animal eat for breakfast?

Goatmeal.

A: Hey, why did you open that pizza parlor? Don’t you have a job?

B: Yeah, but I knead the dough.

Rock: I just adopted a puppy!

Pock: That’s great! What’s its name?

Rock: I’ve asked her a million times, but she’s never told me!

If India’s Prime Minister had plastic surgery, would it be called a MODIfication?

What do you call a rude thief walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

If Hitler was a tiny insect, what would you call him?

A tyr-ANT.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

Bob: My tummy hurts, mom.

Mom: Why?

Bob: On TV, Ajay Devgn said Lifebuoy is good for health, so I ate it. He’s a liar!

What does a lonely Arab farmer do in his free time?

He dates.

What’s was the Wicked Witch’s favorite subject at school?

Spelling.

Teacher: Why didn’t you do the descriptive writing task?

Student: I wanted to write it on my dog, but as soon as I put my pen on it, it ran away!

What would you call a boy band that only played classical music?

The Bach-street boys.